A Site of Pure Fiction

Fried Chicken

Originally written circa 2001, exact date unknown

Pa’s mouth watered as he inhaled the heavenly scents radiating from the kitchen. Ma was making her world-famous fried chicken again, and Pa could barely contain his excitement. Already he could feel the crisp skin crunching in his teeth; already he tasted the savory blend of Ma’s secret spices. After an eternity of anticipation, a beaming Ma brought out a fresh plate-full.

“Save some for me, Pa!” said Ma as she headed back into the kitchen.

Eagerly, Pa snatched up a breast. Maybe…maybe not! He held the piece to his mouth, trying to guess ingredients that were more closely guarded than the Pentagon’s most embarrassing secrets. Just as he was about sink his teeth into this small slab of paradise, however, Pa heard the sound he dreaded most.

“Bwawk-bwak-KA!”

No…not NOW! Pa turned his head to see Ma’s prize egg-laying hen, Hannah Bell, enter the room. The bird gave Pa a one-eyed stare, then turned her eye toward the piece of chicken in his hand. Taunted by memories of past fried chicken dinners, Pa determinedly twisted in his seat. Again he prepared to tear into his much-anticipated meal.

“Bwak-KA!” Hannah Bell demanded as she rushed back into his view.

Pa’s stomach growled in response, and he twisted again. He’d be damned if that chicken was going to ruin his meal!

But Hannah Bell was not easily deterred. Flapping her wings, she ran to the other side of Pa, the focus of her eye switching between Pa and the fried chicken in his hand. “BAWK!!!” she insisted.

Pa slammed his fist on the table. “MA!!!” he shouted.

Drying her hand on a towel, Ma walked back into the room. “What is it Pa?” she asked. Pa pointed to Hannah Bell. Upon seeing her favorite hen, however, Ma smiled. “How’s Ma’s good bird,” she cooed as she took a drumstick from the top of the pile. She tore a off a chunk, then threw it to the bird. Excitedly, the bird dove after the piece, snatching it mid-air.

“Bwak-bwak-BWAK!” exclaimed Hannah Bell.

Pa hated that bird.

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